margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
