Plan B is the new Plan A
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
