Yo dont text me then not text me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
