the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
