Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
