you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
