Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
