what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
