The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
