Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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