This girl is more easily done than said...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
