Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
