It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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