genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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