so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
