I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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