whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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