my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
