Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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