the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
