I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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