I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
