I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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