Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
