i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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