She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
