I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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