So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
