I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
