All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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