it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize