you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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