So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
