Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
