How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
