Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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