shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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