can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
