your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
