it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
