We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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