Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
