I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
