i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
