im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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