I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
