my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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