Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
