I want to walk on stilts...naked
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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