ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
