don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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