Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize