He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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