My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
