Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
