The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize