just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
