I have demons in me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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