my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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