His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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