I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
