I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
