The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
