Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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