Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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