Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
