i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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